Easter break?
Well, I was fasting. I was, am, hope will be trying to find my ways to be.
That is one of those along with my workouts, food/emotions stabilizing programs, music, movies, books, human talks.
It never comes easy. Never. God, please, don't let me get deceived by the idea that everything should come 'naturally' easy. Life never does that: everything worthy comes with labor and effort, pain and passion, persistence, focus Then comes wisdom, surrender (or vice versa), and love (circle/cycle). It's a super short and quick description of my fasting routine conclusions. The basic thought is also about self-deceiving. Goood, we are so weak, we are only humans. And we don't see what we are doing.
Somewhere in the middle of those 50 days, I was told and repeatedly taught the idea, very simple one and very powerful: every life matters. That one phrase made me crying solely (I am that unstable and emotional one) for 20 minutes straight. Because, if I don't let go of my childhood pains, keep judging and scrutinizing my parents, my family, my life, myself, I am to cause my own hell, no one is to blame. Thus, I put myself lower or higher than them, escaping to meet their eyes and souls as equal. thus, I am to punish them and I am definitely not in that position. No, no, no. You need helluva guts to do so, to just for a moment put yourself in others' shoes instead of criticizing. I tried, I cried. For some reason, it happened like this to teach me something that I cannot fully comprehend right now (honesty is important, they say). But I strive for, I keep going through, I am just so tired sometimes.
Grace, be with us. Amen.
Gran, I love you 3000. for the seed that fell and died.
julia, please, don't forget that love has so many forms and ways, you wouldn't even have the idea, my nerd. feel feelings, think thoughts, not all the way around.
https://inspoquotes.com/2018/07/25/teach-me-the-art-of-small-steps-a-prayer-by-antoine-de-saint-exupery/
That is one of those along with my workouts, food/emotions stabilizing programs, music, movies, books, human talks.
It never comes easy. Never. God, please, don't let me get deceived by the idea that everything should come 'naturally' easy. Life never does that: everything worthy comes with labor and effort, pain and passion, persistence, focus Then comes wisdom, surrender (or vice versa), and love (circle/cycle). It's a super short and quick description of my fasting routine conclusions. The basic thought is also about self-deceiving. Goood, we are so weak, we are only humans. And we don't see what we are doing.
Somewhere in the middle of those 50 days, I was told and repeatedly taught the idea, very simple one and very powerful: every life matters. That one phrase made me crying solely (I am that unstable and emotional one) for 20 minutes straight. Because, if I don't let go of my childhood pains, keep judging and scrutinizing my parents, my family, my life, myself, I am to cause my own hell, no one is to blame. Thus, I put myself lower or higher than them, escaping to meet their eyes and souls as equal. thus, I am to punish them and I am definitely not in that position. No, no, no. You need helluva guts to do so, to just for a moment put yourself in others' shoes instead of criticizing. I tried, I cried. For some reason, it happened like this to teach me something that I cannot fully comprehend right now (honesty is important, they say). But I strive for, I keep going through, I am just so tired sometimes.
Grace, be with us. Amen.
Gran, I love you 3000. for the seed that fell and died.
julia, please, don't forget that love has so many forms and ways, you wouldn't even have the idea, my nerd. feel feelings, think thoughts, not all the way around.
https://inspoquotes.com/2018/07/25/teach-me-the-art-of-small-steps-a-prayer-by-antoine-de-saint-exupery/
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